Dynasty cow

Only one thing stood between me and the approaching cattapillar . my sword. I tried to slice the evil thing but it was two small I missed every time, i ...

What a crap name , i just wrote your style is good above cause i thought you were a stranger , but no your real name Micheal is a crap ...

Right . ok i feel i have to say somthing cause you probably spent more time ediding my thingy than it took me writing it , thanks . and ill ...

your style is great its realy dramatic and that but if you did the spell check thingy all the mistakes could be corrected , and the last thing is that ...

If you plan to right for (11-14) year olds don't change a thing , if it was more complicated i would have left it and went on to another story ...

its ok but how come you kept bllalalalalalalala blalalalalalalabalalablablabla blalallalalalalalabalab alabal blablablablablablalalalalalal blalalalalalalabalabnalabala skipping line even when no- one

The whole thing was realy good . for the first time in a novel i didnt keep on reading because i was curious but cause it was almost peacefilling . ...

I dont know how you can say this needed improvement ,it had realistic charecters that wouldent just say something out of the blue to fill space , it was deep ...

im 13 and i wouldent have i hope in hell of making somthing so complex and fun ,although my work is good in a differnt way , youve got loads ...

it was all good until my skin is peachy red , i didnt quite get that . :shock: [/quote]

all the mistakes and grammer problems can be changed but the writing was exelent , the story was ok be honest the plot was cra..bad , you should have wrote ...

I dont know , im trying to find the perfect story and then make it a full novel , I got pretty far on chickens revenge but then i ditched ...

maybe you could have like a war between humans and vampires , and the vampires have been hiding away for centuries and only efew got discovered , hiding away planing ...

The patting of the rain and the howling of the wind made it hard to make out the strange noises , a distant "help"possibly of prehaps another trap set by ...

please do more , that was real and anyone who sais its bad , there just jelous jk